


One Day at a Time

by KateShepherd



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Healing, It just them dealing with emotions, say it with me Chris and Sam's friendship shouldn't revolve around josh, they would be amazing friends even if he wasn't there, which is what i was trying to prove here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateShepherd/pseuds/KateShepherd
Summary: Chris knew exactly what he meant. He and Ashley kept each other from falling apart. Sam, on the other hand, had no one. 
  or: how Sam and Chris helped each other heal, and move on





	

**Author's Note:**

> So sammythepsycho told me that where was no Sam and Chris fan fic that didn't sandwich in Josh (which is a crime). We were also talking about how Sam would react after the events of the game, and I thought, I might as well hit two birds with one stone.

One day at a time. That was what his therapist told him to do. Just take everything as it came, and focus on now. Chris had to admit, it was good advice. He repeated it to himself like a mantra every time he woke up in a cold sweat.

“One day at a time,” He muttered to himself, “One day.”

Ashley stirred next to him, and from the fear across her face, Chris knew she was having a nightmare of her own.

“Ash,” he said in a voice hoar and dry. “Ash, wake u-up.” He grabbed onto her shoulder and shook her slightly. She jumped into the air, a gasp filling the room. Her arm grabbed onto his as if to push him away, but she didn’t have the strength.

“It’s fine,” Chris said trying his best to be soothing, despite his own panic. “It was just a dream.” She looked over at him, finally processing what was happening. Tears filled her wide green eyes and she pulled him into a hug.

“Oh Chris,” Ashley said as she started crying, “I-I. I-I.” She was sobbing onto his chest, unbothered by all of his sweat, and Chris only pulled her in closer. Tears of his own were streaming down his face, but he didn’t want her to see that at the moment. He just wanted to make sure Ashley felt safe, and then he would worry about his own wellbeing.

It had been like this for months. The two of them would wake up, screaming or crying, and they always held each other for the rest of the night. Both of them even suffered from the occasional night terror. Those were the worst. Chris always felt so helpless in those moments. It always made him think back to that night.

He couldn’t even imagine what it was like for Ashley when he was having one of them.

In Chris’s eyes, Ashley wellbeing was what came first. Hell, it was what kept him going most of the days. She never left the house. In fact, she hadn’t since the hospital first released her.

For a while, Ashley had stopped eating entirely. She was just never hungry. Chris knew exactly how that felt, but whenever he came over, he always managed to get her to eat a little. A first it was just a bit, now she could eat most of a meal in his presence.

Her parents didn’t know how to handle her nightmares either. She was always inconsolable for hours afterwards, and eventually, Chris just ended up moving in. He’d only really mentioned it to his therapist, but moving in with Ashley had saved him too. The nightmares won’t as bad and he actually had his appetite back at time.

“It’s okay,” he said running his fingers thought her hair. That always helped calm her down. “It’s fine. Just a dream.”

She pulled out of their hug, tears still streaming down her face. Her face was so red and puffy, that for a second, Chris couldn’t only see the same blood spatter that had been on her face that night. _No,_ he told himself, _just focus on now_.

“But it was so r-real,” She said. “Chris, y-your head was gone and-“

“And it’d just a dream,” he said taking both of her hands. “I’m fine!” that was a big fat lie. “I promise, Ash, I’m not going anywhere.” She nodded her head slightly at that, pressing her lips together in an attempt to clam herself down. It didn’t work, so Chris just held her close for the rest of the night.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, neither one of them suffering from a nightmare. Chris would hardly call it a restful sleep, but hey, they made it an hour in peace. It was a step in the right direction.

 _One day at a time_ , he reminded himself as he got out of bed the next morning. _One day at a time_.

 

“How’s Jess?” Chris asked. It was more out of politesse than an actual question. Chris knew her condition hadn’t changed a bit, but still, he knew it made Mike feel a little better when people asked.

“She still hasn’t woken up yet, but their taking out a few more of her stitches today.” Mike spent almost everyday sitting by Jess’s hospital bed. Chris’s therapist told him it would be best to keep in contract with everyone, and so he tired for force himself to call the others when he could. Emily and Sam never picked up his messages though, and Matt only answered sometimes. Mike, on the other hand, always picked up whenever he called. Chris figured it was the only time he was actually in contact with anyone.

When the gang all first went to the hospital, it was a nightmare. Ashley clung to his side, refusing to let go of him. Not that Chris wanted her too. Both of them were examined together, and they both discovered Chris had fractured his ankle.

It was a originally only a minor fracture, but with the fact he kept walking on it, and even full out sprinted on it at one point, he’d managed to fuck it up pretty bad. His cast was only recently taken off, and everything had happened 4 months ago.

Ashley was fine, thank god. Chris really would have lost it if she were hurt too. She had only a few cuts and bruises. In fact, other than Mike, most of them just walked off with a few cuts and bruises. Well, not Jess.

She had suffered from extreme internal bleeding and a major concussion. By the time they had realized just how hurt she was, it was all but too late. She had been in a coma since then, and the doctors were starting to lose hope that she’d ever wake up. Mike didn’t though. He couldn’t. Jess was the only thing keeping Mike sane, just as Ashley was to Chris.

 _Maybe I should visit her,_ he thought. Chris didn’t really like to leave Ashley alone for long periods of time though (for as much as his sake as hers), and she’d never agree to going to the hospital. Hell, opening the window still made her nervous. She wasn’t about to willing walk into a place of sickness and death anytime soon. _Or ever._

“How’s Ashley?” He heard Mike ask.

“She’s doing better,” it felt good to say that considering it wasn’t a lie this time. “We actually managed to eat a whole pizza together the other day.” It was only a small, but still, it was an accomplishment nonetheless.

“Oh wow, I haven’t had pizza in such a long time,” Mike said. Chris only nodded, even though he knew Mike wouldn’t see. It seemed almost like an invitation, but Chris wasn’t ready to go with anyone yet. Sure Mike could come there, but just like Chris, he hated to leave Jess’s side.

No, for now things were best if they just stuck to phone calls. It was easier this way.

“Hey,” Mike said after he realized Chris wasn’t going to respond. “Have,” a pause, “have you heard from Sam yet?”

“No,” Chris said, “Why is Sam okay?”

“It’s nothing it just…” Mike signed, and Chris could feel his heart beat picking up. _Is Sam okay? Is she hurt? Did she do something? Did someone do something to her?_ “She hasn’t picked up any of my calls.” She hadn’t for Chris either, but he didn’t see that as any cause for alarm. Well, not until now.

“And?”

“I don’t know,” Mike said trying to hide the dread from his voice. It didn’t work. “I’m just starting to worry. Even Emily’s texted me telling me to fucking die, but it’s been radio silence from Sam. I’m just starting to get a little worried with… you know.”

Chris knew exactly what he meant. He and Ashley kept each other from falling apart, and Jess did the same for Mike. Hell, even Matt and Emily (who Chris had been convinced would never last; before the incident that is.) were clinging closely together. Sam, on the other hand, had no one.

She used to have Hannah, but she lost her. Then she had . . . _him_ (Chris didn’t even want to think his name), and how he was gone too. Poor, little Samantha, all on her own. Chris wasn’t even sure where she was. For all he knew, she fled the country. Or possibly even worse.

“Yeah,” Chris said, “I’m kinda worried too.”

 

Days later, Ashley and him were sharing another meal. Her parents were busy looking for a new theripist for Ashley after she had a yelling match with the last one after she said that her and Chris were “unhealthily codependent”. So the two of them were alone. Well as alone as they could be with her parents in the other room, and as alone as they wanted to be.

Hell, Chris might have lit a candle and called it a date, but the last time Ashley had tried that, it didn’t end so well. Chris just ended up staring into the flame and spacing out for several minutes. Ashley apparently been yelling at him and shaking him, but he didn’t break out of his daze. When it was over, he didn’t even realize anything had happened.

It had been a recurring thing for him since the incident, and it always scared Ashley half to death. She hated it so much, but Chris couldn’t control it. He wished he could. If only so he’d never had to come out of it to find Ashley sobbing into his chest ever again.

Even so, Ashley and him tried to keep it as romantic as the two could in the situation. Which meant stealing food from each other’s plates. It was almost a game to trick each other into eating. One you stole it, you had to eat it, and then the other person had to steal some from you to make it even. It worked really well with them.

Ashley was about to swipe a pod of peas when she froze. She looked a little conflicted, and Chris felt his heart stop for a moment.

“I overheard you talking to Mike the other day,” she said. “I think someone need to talk to Sam, make sure she’s okay.” Of course, by someone, she meant him, but Ashley was too polite to say it outright.

“I’ll try to call Emily again,” Chris said as he tried to steal another bite from her plate. Ashley moved it away so he couldn’t try it again.

“She’s not going to pick up, Chris,” She said, tears pooling in her eyes, “Not after what I did.” _No_ , Chris wanted to say, _that wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I should have said something instead of just letting everything happen. I should have taken a stand instead of just sitting there._

“Even if she does, she not going to tell any of us how Sam’s actually doing.” No, the only one of them Emily actually talked to was Matt, and he stayed away from most of the group as well. Chris remembered Mike telling him that he visited Jess once or twice, but that was about it.

“Chris, please, I don’t think I can live with myself if something bad has happened to her.” Hell, if something happened to any of them, none of them would recover. They had all survived the horrors of the night together, if any more tragic happened to them, they would break. Despite their feeling for each other, they all felt connected to the others. If something where to happen to one of them, if Jess never woke up, they would never recover.

Chris didn’t think he could handle loosing Sam either, but he stayed silent.

“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Maybe it’ll even be good for me,” she forced an obviously fake half-smile. “You know, so we don’t get too codependent.” Chris forced himself to smile as well, even thought he couldn’t find it funny at the moment.

“I’ll try calling again tomorrow,” he said, “and if she doesn’t pick up than I’ll try her house.” Ashley nodded a little at that, swiping a pea pod from his plate. She moved her dish back into Chris’s reach so they could keep their little game going.

 

Chris didn’t want to be here. He really, really didn’t want to be in front of Sam’s front door. He’d been standing there for almost ten minutes, questioning if he should knock. All he wanted to do was go home. He wanted to go back to Ashley, and never leave her again.

Sure, he’d taken trips outside of the house before, but they had only been short ones to the store to pick up one or two things. He’d always been back in ten minutes or less. The drive to Sam’s place was 15 minutes on its own, and he could feel his anxiety starting up.

 _Do it for Ashley_ , he told himself, _and for Sam_. He knocked on the door and waited. Sam had a nice house. Not nearly as nice as the Washin – . . . them, but it was still much better from the small place he lived in with his mom. Chris had been to Sam’s house a couple times before, but it was always with you-know-who by his side. He’d even been there alone.

Come to think of it, it seemed that him and Sam’s entire friendship seemed to revolve around them. They’ve only hung out alone once or twice in their many years of friendship.

He jumped slightly as he saw the door open.

“Christopher!” Sam’s mom’s voice rang out. She looked so excited to see him, which for some reason only made him more anxious. Without warning, she pulled him into a hug. “Oh, it’s so good to see you.”

Chris wasn’t much of a hugger anymore. In fact, only Ashley and his mom were allowed to hug him, but he just solider on until she let go of him. Trying his best not to think about how uncomfortable he felt.

“Yeah, you too,” he said, his voice not fully convincing. Her smile grew wider anyways as she waved him in.

“Come, come,” she said, “Sam should be home soon, oh she’ll be so excited to see you!” Considering she had been dodging his calls, he doubted that, but Chris walked in always.

 _Sam’s out of the house?_ Chris was a little shocked. She already seemed to be doing better than the rest of them. He took a seat on the couch in the living room, while Sam’s mom was trying her best to make him feel comfortable, which ironically had the opposite effect.

“Do you want some tea dear?” She asked, “Or maybe coffee? I know how young men love their coffee.” It was _him_ that always loved coffee. Chris only ever drank the stuff when he gave it to him.

“I’m fine,” he said, still trying to remain polite.

“Well how abut some water then? Or maybe a cookie? I cooked up a batch the other day that’s simply to die for.” She flinched slightly at her own words, obviously expecting to get a reaction out of Chris, but he didn’t think anything out it. Even his own mom didn’t know how to act around him, why would Sam’s mom be any different?

“Actually? Could I use the bathroom?” he asked.

“Of course, of course,” She said, the excitement returning to her voice. _She’s faking it,_ he realized, _she trying to act like she isn’t falling apart like everyone else._ He saw the same look in Ashley’s parents eyes every day, and, of course, his own mother’s. It hurt them to see their children so broken, and in a way, it only made Chris feel a little guilty. “It’s right up the stairs, second door on your right.”

“Thanks,” Chris said jumping to his feet. He tried to casually walk up the stairs, but he new he was walking just a bit to fast. He couldn’t help it. The house was suffocating. He could feel her nerve growing worse and worse by the second and he needed to breath. He needed Ashley.

As he made his way up the stairs, he realized he hadn’t bee fully listening. _Did she say left or right?_ Chris chose a door and threw it opened. He chose wrong, and his blood ran cold.

It was a bedroom, and Chris instantly knew it was Sam’s. Just seeing what was inside made him want to be sick. The first thing he saw when he opened to door was a wendigo drawn onto the wall. Next to it were drawing and sketches of other things, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the drawing.

He stood there frozen. Its teeth were so sharp, and it looked so exact to what it actually was. He could see it again in his mind. Flashes of it as it sprang at him. He could still feel his shoulder aching with the recoil of the shotgun. The screeching, that noise would never leave him, just as the gunshot when he pulled the trigger against his neck.

“What are you doing!” Something shouted right next to him. He jumped just as the door shut in his face, and there was Sam, looking at him with an ungodly rage in her eyes. “Don’t go prying in my room!” she shouted.

How long had he been standing there? Had he spaced out again? By the suddenness in Sam’s appearance, he guessed he had, but still Chris was at a lost for words. _How can you sleep with that thing on your wall?_ He wanted to ask. But by the bags under her eyes, he knew the answer.

“I-I wasn’t,” He stuttered, “I was looking for the bathroom.”

“Yeah, sure,” She said crossing her arms.

Sam looked, well, different from when they last see each other. But that had been months ago, so he wasn’t sure why that was such a shock. She was a lot a paler then before, and her hair had faded into a darker shade of blonde. It was much shorter now as well, only falling just beyond her chin. There were bags under her eyes and she looked like she lost a lot of her muscle. Sure she still looked like she could kick his ass, but still, she was much to thin to be herself.

Sam seemed to be examining him too, but the anger didn’t let up from her eyes. It wasn’t his fault he showed up uninvited though; she was the one who didn’t return his calls. “What do you want?” She asked.

She sounded less hostile than before, but it still hurt Chris to hear it in her voice. Oh God if he didn’t feel shitty enough.

“We were getting worried,” Chris said. “I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“We?” She asked. “Who?” It almost felt like an interigation.

“Me and Ashley,” Chris answered, “and Mike.” Sam seemed to huff a little and looked to the ground. Chris wasn’t really sure what to say, or how to treat this new Sam. _Hell, I’m still trying to figure out how to treat the new me._

“Well,” she said, “as you can see. I’m fine.” She said that in a tone that suggested to Chris that she was not at all fine. “You can go now.”

Chris was quiet for a moment. _Should I leave?_ He wondered. Yes, he wanted to get back to Ashley and the safety of her arms, but still, should he just leave Sam on her own? She only glared at him as she waited for him to speak. Chris had managed to stare down Emily once or twice, and she was downright terrifying at times, but there was something much darker in Sam’s eyes. It made a chill run down his spine.

“Chris,” She spat, “Leave!” Chris never said a word to her. He nodded his head slightly and walked past her down the stairs. Sam’s mother called goodbye as he left, trying her best to hid the disappointment in her voice. Chris didn’t respond and climbed into his car.

He speed his way home to Ashley.

 

All it took was two days for his conscious to start eating away at him. It was the last thing Chris needed. He was barely holding himself together, and yet he was worrying about Sam. He couldn’t help but think of her never night as he held his girlfriend (which wasn’t the thing he wanted to be thing about at that moment). _She’s got no one,_ kept ringing in his mind. It became his new mantra, only Chris couldn’t stop it.

Ashley didn’t looked much better when he told her the state she was in. Sam and Ashley were close. Not as close as her and the twins were, but still close. In fact, Ashley was better friends with Sam then even he was. She’d be the one out visiting her if she didn’t have a panic attack every time she took a step outside.

Mike, on the other hand, didn’t sound nearly as concerned. Perhaps he had just caught him on a bad day, or he maybe he just couldn’t bear the weight of worrying about anyone other then Jess at the moment.

Chris tried calling Sam’s phone one day at noon. She didn’t pick up. He then tried her home phone, and of course, her mother picked up almost instantly.

“Hello?” she said.

“Hi, Mrs. Giddings. It’s Chris.”

“Oh Christopher! How are you?”

“I’m good,” he lied. “I was just wondering if Sam was there.”

“Oh she’s not here right now,” she answered. Sam wasn’t there the noon of when he had visited either. Chris didn’t think too much of it. “But, if you want to see her, you should come by tomorrow at ten. I’m sure she’d love to see you!”

They both knew she was lying, but Chris thanked her anyways. He spoke to Ashley that night.

“I’m going to try to visit Sam again tomorrow.” He told her. Ashley smiled a little at that, and it gave him the strength to actually go though with it in the morning.

 

“What are you doing here?” Sam growled as she opened her front door. Chris hadn’t even knocked yet, so it meant that Sam was leaving on her own. _Where the hell does she get the strength to do that every morning?_

“I thought I’d visit,” he said, “we didn’t really get to hang out the last time I was here.” To his shock, Chris, for a second, actually sounded a little like his old self. It was a miracle, really.

“You mean when you pried your way into my room?” He hadn’t even taken a step into her room. What was rich though, was that it was her saying that. Sam Giddings! The girl who he had caught reading his text messages right before… Well, maybe it wasn’t funny, more ironic.

“I just thought we could talk or something.” he tried. Sam stared at him for a moment. Deciding of whether or not to turn him away.

“I’m going out for my morning walk,” she said, “If you want you can join me.” Chris was a little pleasantly shocked that she’d actually decided to let him come. A tiny smile flashed across his face, Sam only stared at it blankly.

She pushed her way back him and made her way to the back of her house. Confused, Chris followed her. His heart froze as he saw she was walking into the woods. His feet froze with him.

“C’mon,” she said, a smugness appearing in her voice. “Can’t keep up, then I’ll just leave.” Of course, the only reason she had invited him along was because she thought he’d chicken out. She was right, there was no way in hell Chris was ever stepping into the woods ever again. She smirked, and continued into the woods.

Chris sighed. He started to turn around when he felt his own conscious eating away at him. _She’s all alone,_ he thought. For a moment, Chris thought the voice in his head sounded a little like _him_. Chris took a step towards the woods.

“One day at a time,” he told himself, “One step at a time.” His heart raced faster and faster with each step, but he was in the woods, and not far ahead was Sam. Oh God, he was going to be sick.

“W-Wait,” Chris shouted. His throat felt dry, and for a second, he was terrified she wouldn’t. _Don’t leave me alone,_ he wanted to beg. Instead he held his tongue.

Sam stopped and turned around, looking genuinely shocked to see him. Thankfully, she waited for him to catch up to her side. Chris felt a little better next to her, though that wasn’t saying much. He felt a little dizzy.

Sam never said a word, and Chris couldn’t find the strength to even try to speak. All of his energy was focused on trying not to freak out. There were so much dense woods ahead. _Will we get lost? Does Sam know the way back?_

Once second, he was starting at the hundreds of trees that lay ahead, the next, they were at an intersection, cars speeding past them. Chris couldn’t help but jump slightly at the suddenness of it all, and Sam shot him a weird look.

He had zoned out again. This time, he was a little thankful for it. It least he had continued on into the wood running on autopilot. Sam hadn’t even seemed to notice it either, which made him feel a little better.

“I normally eat there,” she said pointing at a Denny’s across the street. Chris nodded and followed her as she made her way to the street. They waited for the crosswalk light to switch on, and made their way into the dinner in silence.

“Hi, Samantha!” one of the waitresses said as they walked in. “Your usual seat it already set up.”

“Thanks, but could you add a place mat?” she asked nodding over to Chris. He shot the waitress and quick fake smile to be polite.

“Of course,” she said, her smile growing even wider. They followed her to a booth, and the waitress gave him his silverware set. She obviously had the idea that this was a date, but Chris wasn’t really in the mood to correct her. Sam didn’t look much in the mood for it either. He took a seat across from her. Her eyes instantly shifted to look out of the window as the car passed.

For a moment, neither of them said a word, and then Chris realized he was going to need to be the one to break the silence.

“So… you come here often I’m guessing,” he said lamely. Sam didn’t even glance his way. She just kept staring out of the window.

“Everyday,” she said with a shrug. Chris waiting to see if she’d say anything else, but there was only silence once again.

“Why here?” He asked, trying once again to start up a conversation.

“It was on the other side of the woods,” She answered.

“Okay, well why were you walking thought the woods?”

“Because I won’t let him take that from me too.” There was no emotion in her voice when she said it. Chris didn’t understand how she could even manage that. All he had felt was extremes since the incident.

Chris didn’t say a word. He wished he never brought it up. He wished he never even said a fucking word. His heart burned at even the slightest mention of him. Half with anger, half with remorse. Chris wondered if she felt the same pain, or if she felt much of anything anymore.

“I got, what? One step in on my first day?” Sam added on at Chris silence. “The next day I took two steps. I kept going until one day I reached the end of the woods. Did you know that it’s a five mile walk here? I didn’t think you’d honestly make it this far.” _Five miles!?!_ Chris knew he wouldn’t have made it half as far if he was actually conscious for most of it. Hell, he was still shocked he was able to take if as far as he did before spacing out.

“I was hungry, and so I came here and ate. Then I walked back. I’ve been doing it everyday. I come here, sit at his very spot, eat some waffles, and go back home.” There was a blank look in her eyes.

“I thought you couldn’t eat the waffles here,” Chris said, finding his voice. “They put butter in it or something.” She just shrugged and stared out of the window. It felt a bit like a punch. _Sam . . . not being a vegan?_

Chris couldn’t help but stare at her in shock. He saw it now. Something he hadn’t noticed before. _She’s hollow,_ he realized. Her eyes used to be full of life before everything went to crap, now they were dead and empty. Her thinness almost seemed to highlight it all.

Chris and Ashley, they were open wounds. They bleed everywhere and on everything. Both of them in a constant state of pain. Sam on the other hand, she was a walking, breathing corpse. She felt nothing. No pain, no fear, but Chris wasn’t sure she didn’t feel the good stuff either. Chris might have been exactly like her if he didn’t have Ashley’s love to carry him through it all.

They both ordered waffles, and pretty soon their food came. As noon started approaching, more and more people came in. Sam only ever moved her eyes from the window twice. Once to order, and once to thank the waitress when the meal came.

Chris wasn’t in the mood for talking anymore, but he forced himself to anyways.

“You should call Mike,” was all the he could think to say. “He’d been kind of worried about you, and I think he could use a friend.” _You could use one too._ Sam shrugged, still never looking him in the eyes.

“Maybe,” was all she said. Her words were as hollow as her and they both knew it.

“Ashley’s been missing you too,” he kept going. “You should stop by our place, she’d probably be really excited to see you. Neither of us really, you know, get out of the house much so-“

“You two are living together?” She asked. For a second, Chris thought he saw a flicking of life in her eyes. Sam always did get too invested in their relationship. But when he looked again, the light was gone, and so was the briefest flash of the old Sam.

“Yeah, we moved in a while ago. It helps with everything.”

“You mean the nightmares?” She said. Chris only nodded. The nightmares were the worst part of it all. In the day, he knew no peace, but at night, all he knew was fear.

“Yeah,” he said lamely, looking down at his meal. Sam was forcing hers down, but Chris didn’t have it in him. Not without him and Ashley playing their little game. He knew he probably shouldn’t ask, but there was one question that would not leave his mind.

“How do you sleep with that thing on your wall?” He asked. Sam didn’t even blink.

“Eat you’re meal and I’ll tell you.” She said.

“What?”

“I’ll tell you if you eat your meal,” She looked him in the eyes for the first time since they sat down. She pointed her fork down at his meal. “Eat,” she told him.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Then I guess I’m not going to tell you.” Chris waited for a second to see if she was joking. She was dead serious.

“Wait, really?” He asked. She just nodded and started looking out of her window again. Chris waited a second to see if she’d change her mind. Nope. He picked up his fork and forced down a mouth full of waffles.

Chris looked up, waiting to see if Sam would speak. She spared a quick glance at his plate and looked right back out of the window. _Seriously?_

After several more mouthfuls, Sam looked a little satisfied. Then whatever satisfaction faded, and there was a look of pain in her eyes. Chris hated seeing it there, but he preferred it over seeing the emptiness in her eyes.

“When I wake up, it’s all that I can see. I can’t get the images out of my head until I draw them.”

Chris hummed, nodding slightly. What could he say to that? Sorry? That sucks? No, there was nothing to say, but he understood the feeling exactly. He couldn’t sleep anymore without Ashley next to him.

Before he could say a word, someone walked by their table. For a moment, Chris though it was their waitress then he realized it was a man, and he was staring excitedly as Sam.

“You’re one of those Blackwoods Seven,” It wasn’t a question. Chris couldn’t help but flinch at the name. The guy paid him no mind thought, and moved a little closer to Sam. She didn’t even blink as she stared down the glass.

“What really happened on that mountain? Cause the police said it was a bear, but there so way that a bear could-“

“Dude,” Chris interrupted, the guy finally looked his way. “That’s enough,” was all he had the strength to say. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to be reminded of it all.

“But it wasn’t a bear, right?” Sam was growing more and more tense with every word he spoke. “It had to be a ghost, right? Or a demon, or even a psychopa- AHH!”

He stumbled back in pain, and all Chris could do was jump to his feet in shock. Sam, with her hands gripping her waffles dish so tightly her knuckles were white, growled at him. The guy was bleeding a little from when Sam had smacked him with the dish. Luckily the thing hadn’t broken, and the guys face wasn’t broken either.

“YOU BITCH!” He shouted rubbing his head. The whole restaurant fell silence and Chris felt as if he couldn’t breath. _Fuck I need to go. I need to go!_

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Sam shouted. She stood up and lifted the dish as if she were about t hit him again, but Chris, running on nothing by instincts, grabbed her arm.

She growled at him slightly, shooting him a killer glare and Chris couldn’t catch his breath. _I need to leave._

“C-C’mom,” was all he could mutter. He gave her a small tug, and for a second she resisted, hate burning in her eyes. She shot him a look, and sent all her her fury his way. Chris held his breath.

Then she calmed down slightly, but it didn’t make Chris feel any better. His heart was about to leap out of his chest.

He tugged again, and Sam followed this time. The guy shouted horrible thing after them, but Chris could barely hear him over the beating of his own heart. It felt like a drumming carrying him forward, carrying him home to Ashley. Sam followed close behind, and threw some money on their table without a word.

Chris tried to make his way across the street, but Sam stopped him. He was still holding her wrist. He hadn’t realized. She nodded up to the crosswalk sign and he realized they’d get hit in they tried to walk across in the noon traffic.

Out of pure luck, a taxi drove by not a second later. The two climbed in and speed back to Sam’s place. Sam looked out of the window the whole ride back, never blinking or saying a word. Chris on the other hand, tried to count his breaths.

 _1, 2, 3, 4, 5,_ he counted, _1, 2, 3, 4, 5._ With his hands shaking, and eyes clenched shut, he couldn’t calm himself down. _I need Ashley,_ he thought, _oh god where is she?_ He knew where she was, but it didn’t help. He jumped out of the cab the second it stopped and raced off in his car, going twice the speed limit.

He figured Sam wouldn’t mind paying for the cab. Even if she did, he didn’t care. He needed to get home. He needed to breath. He needed his girlfriend.

When he threw open the door, Ashley wasn’t far. She must have been waiting for him. Her eyes grew wide the second she saw him and she jumped to her feet. Without saying a word they ran at each other, and Chris pulled her into his arms.

His legs gave way beneath him, and he and Ashley both knelt to the floor. Finally, he could breath. He could breath. He was crying into her shoulder now, and he felt her hand gently rub the back of his neck.

“It’s okay,” She whispered in his ears. “I’m here.”

What would he ever do without her?

 

Chris didn’t see Sam again for a month afterwards. Every time he thought of that day, he got go so anxious. No, he stepped far beyond his comfort zone that day. He earned the right to shelter himself inside Ashley’s home with her for a while.

Then, out of nowhere, one day Ashley just opened the front door. She didn’t take a step outside, but she stood at the door way for a while. Chris watched her carefully, ready to comfort her if it was too much, but then she just shut the door, completely fine.

The next day, she did the same; only she took a step outside. She took a breath in of the warm spring air, and then came back in. She was a little teary eyed but other than that she was fine.

The trend continued, much like what Sam had told him, and by the end of the month she was sitting outside. It still made her anxious, but with Chris by her side, she didn’t have mush to fear. She held his hand to tightly that he was sure she cut off his circulation, but he didn’t complain. Ashley had taken her first steps outside, and it was amazing.

“I want to see Sam,” she said at the end of the month. It had been on her mind ever since Chris told her what happened. She was as worried for Sam as he was, but Ashley was his main concern, and he didn’t want her to rush anything.

“Maybe we should wait a couple week. Till your more comfortable with everything.” Ashley shook her head.

“No, Chris, I want to see her.” The tears pooled slightly in her eyes. “She’s the only friend other than you I have anymore.” She had never been close of Mike or Jess, and she had burned her bridge with Emily long ago. Matt and her were always close, but he had chosen Emily in these past few months.

Ashley was close with _him_ as well. The three of them made quite the pair, which only made what happened so much worse. She felt the same burning conflict as Chris did.

“Okay,” Chris said. “But if it gets too overwhelming just let me know.” She nodded, and the two of them went back inside a moment later. Ashley did good today, Chris just hoped she’d be able to handle the next step.

 

“I can turn around and go back,” Chris said for the millionth time since the two left. Ashley shook her head once more. She looked so pale, but she kept her head close to the ground of the car so she couldn’t see out of the windows as the world speed past them.

Once again, Chris was speeding, only this time to Sam’s house rather than away. He figure it would the easier for her the shorter she was in the car. It wasn’t.

Chris made sure to arrive at her house just around when Sam would be getting back from her routine walk. He had called her mom, just to be sure she’d be there by the time they came.

When they pulled into the driveway, Chris jumped out of the car after parking it and hurried to open the door for Ashley. She took his arm, holding it so close, they almost looking like one person. Her face was half buried into his chest and she kept her eyes shut, but she was keeping herself together. Chris can’t remember feeling prouder and more in love with her.

Her breath hitched slightly, and Chris placed a kiss on the top of the head.

“Almost there,” he whispered to her. He led her to the door, as Ashley peek out of one eye. When Chris knocked, Sam’s mom threw open the door almost instantly. She had been waiting for them.

“Oh, Ashley!” She said a wide grin on her face. “It’s great to see you again. You too, Chris.” Seeing her distress, she didn’t try to hug Ashley, which made Chris feel a little better.

Ashley calmed down a little once they were inside, but she still looked far to pale for Chris’s liking. She never let go of his arm.

“Sam!” Her mother called upstairs. “Sam! Some friends are here to see you!” It took her a moment to get down stairs, but Chris saw her breathe in sharply as she saw them sitting on her couch. No doubt she hadn’t expected to ever see Chris or Ashley ever again after her outburst. It made Chris’s heart hurt to realize she thought that. It only hurt worse when he realized him not visiting for a month only added to her fears.

“Sam?” Ashley said. Both of them stared at each other frozen in time. For a moment, the emptiness was gone from Sam’s eyes and Ashley let go of Chris’s arm. She walked over to Sam and pulled her into a hug, tears streaming down her face.

“Ashley,” Sam said as she held her friend close. “It’s good to see you,” as added as she pulled herself free from her hug. Tears were streaming down Ashley face, and a small grin flashed across Sam’s lips.

Chris could feel himself smiling as well. For the briefest moment, Chris thought they might all be all right.

 

He was actually going to the bathroom. He really was thing time, and Sam even joked (with her emotionless voice) about him not getting lost again. He’d hadn’t thought about Sam’s room and her drawing, and he had no plan to go in there again.

Then, as he walked by it, saw the door was half open. Sam must have forgot to shut it on her way down. Inside, he caught the image of the monster on her wall, but that wasn’t was caught his eye. It was a white sheet of paper that was right by the door.

There was a charcoal sketch on it, and Chris could never forget the image she craved onto the page. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Sam wasn’t there, and entered her room.

The page was only a few feet from the door, and must had fallen off of her desk which had millions of them pilled up and scattered across it. Chris picked it up and felt tears prick at his eyes were he saw the mask of their “psycho”.

Instead of teeth on the mask, however, there were thin sharp fangs, like the wendigo. _Is this what she dreams about?_ He wondered. His nightmares were either about the psycho or the wendigo, but he was luck enough that they never crossed over.

Chris was about to place the drawing down a leave, but another on her desk caught his attention. It was another of the psycho, only she drew reed blood spatter across his face. There was one where half the picture was of Hannah’s face, the other half the wendigo’s. He saw a lot of butterfly drawings, and even one of the cable car they had rode up together in that night.

Buried under them all, Chris found the worst drawing of them all. The only one that truly wanted to make him run out and never come back.

It was a simple drawing of Hannah, Beth, Sam, and _him_. They were all smiling, but chaotic and furious red X-s covered all but Sam’s face.

Chris didn’t even realize he was crying until one of his tears hit the image. It landed right on his face, and Chris quickly tried to wipe it way. There was a smug, but Chris hoped Sam wouldn’t notice. He quickly whipped the tears from his eyes and ran off to the bathroom. He could barely to look at her drawings any more. He wished he never found them.

 

Chris and Ashley were sitting outside. They were forcing a laugh over something Chris had said. It helped when they acted normal every so often. Made the pain a little more bearable.

It was ruined the second he saw Sam pull up into their driveway. He instantly saw the look in her eyes and knew something was wrong. Once she stepped out of the car, a white piece of drawing paper in hand, Chris knew he’d been caught.

She didn’t even wait until she was on their lawn to start yelling at him.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Sam shouted across the lawn. Instantly all comfort faded from Ashley’s eyes, and she squeezed Chris’s hand. Fear started to fill her eyes, and Chris knew she wanted to retreat back into the safety of their house.

“You fucking sack of shit!” Sam shouted

“Ash, you should head inside,” Chris muttered to her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I’ll explain later,” he said, “don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Just go.” Ashley nodded and hurried inside. Sam never even look her way. She was too busy directing all of her righteous rage at him.

“I tell you to say out of my shit, and what do you do? You fucking go through it like it’s your fucking own!” She was in his face now, and Chris stood to his feet. She was much shorter than him, but they didn’t make her any less terrifying.

“I’m sorry,” was all the Chris could say.

“Oh your sorry? Fuck you, Chris!” She screamed. She looked as though she was near tears. Chris felt the same way, though he hoped he didn’t look it.

“Don’t yell,” he said. He was starting to get a little anxious too, a bump forming in the back of his throat. Sam either didn’t notice, or did and simply didn’t care.

“DON’T FUCKIGN TELL ME NOT TO YELL!” she shouted. “FUCK YOU, CHRIS HARTLY! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT!”

“I-I,” he stuttered, “I didn’t mean to-“

“WHAT YOU _ACCIDENTLY_ WENT THROUGH MY SHIT!?!” her face was growing more and more red, and Chris wasn’t sure if it was from anger or the fact she was about to cry. Probably both.

“Please j-just stop-“

“WHY SHOULD I STOP YELLING YOU FUCKER!?!”

“Just stop!” He shouted. He wasn’t as loud as her, but she seemed to quiet down a bit.

“I’m done! Don’t fucking call me! Don’t come by my house! Just leave me alone!” She started storming off and was a few feet from him when Chris finally found his nerve again.

“I was just worried about you!” She spun around, the fire in her eyes worse than before.

“Well I’m alright! So stop!” Chris let out a bitter laugh. That only made things worse. “I’m fine!”

“Sam, none of us are fine!” She froze. “We’re all barely holding it all together! Jess might never fucking wake up! Mike’s one bad day from a loosing his mind! Who know with Matt and Emily! Hell, if it wasn’t for Ash, I might not even be alive to fucking yell at you! You’re not all right, Sam! You’re not fine! You’re broken! Just like the rest of us!”

She stood there in silence for a long time. Chris started back at her, huffing from anger and fear. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she seemed to be fighting them. Fighting them as hard as she possible could, because that was what Sam did. She fought and fought even when there wasn’t a battle to be won anymore. Now she was only fighting with herself. Fighting to hold herself together because there was no one to pick up the pieces when she broke.

“You don’t have to go through this alone,” Chris said, his voice soft. Tears were pooling in his eyes as well, only he wasn’t afraid to let the fall in front of Sam. “Let me help, let us help!”

She looked down at her drawing. A tear slid down her cheek as she did, and she quickly whipped it away. Sam looked at it for a long time, and then up at Chris.

Looking his square in the eyes, she tore the drawing in two, letting it fall to the ground.

“You ruined it anyways,” was all she said as she turned away. Chris watched her leave in silence. His eyes never left her not until she drove out of sight.

Chris turned around and saw Ashley at the doorway. She was leaning up against the frame for support, her face red, puffy, and had tears streaming down her cheeks.

“She’s going to break,” Ashley said, her arms shaking. “Oh, Chris, how is she going to make it through this? How are any of us?”

Chris didn’t have an answer. _Maybe we’re all just to broken to be fixed._

Still, he couldn’t give up on Sam. Not yet, there was one last thing he could do.

Chris left the drawing in the dirt. It was destroyed when the rain came later that day, but he couldn’t get the image out of his mind. It was glued in there, haunting him every time he shut his eyes. Only instead of Sam’s face, he saw his own.

 

Chris was wearing his best late minute outfit. A black shirt and some cargo pants. That fact didn’t escape Sam as she saw him outside of her house. He was leaning up against the car, waiting for her to come out for her daily walk.

She didn’t look like she _completely_ hated him, which Chris took as a good sign.

“Fuck off,” Sam said as she started to make he way for the woods.

“Sam, wait,” he said. She was kind enough to wait, and Chris felt a little more confident. “Come take a drive with me, please.”

“Why?” she asked crossing her arms.

“Because it’ll be good for you.” She didn’t look like se believed him for a second.

“Where would we be going?” She asked. Sam sounded a little less hostile, which was good.

“Somewhere you should have gone a long time ago.” He looked down at the ground, his own guilt appearing across his face. “Somewhere both of us should have gone a long time ago.”

 

“No, no, no, no, no” She said as she saw where they were pulling into. “Chris, no!” She shouted. “Take me back right now!”

Chris parked his car, and held on tightly to his keys. He leaned over and pulled a bouquet of tulips from his back seat. They were purple, Hannah’s favorite color.

“C’mon,” he said as he climbed out of the car. Sam didn’t follow him. She sat in the passenger’s seat, looking forward, and yet seeing nothing. Chris didn’t wait for her and walked through the cemetery to their grave.

HANNAH & BETH WASHINGTON

1996-2015

BELOVED DAUGHTERS AND SISTERS

Their caskets were empty, but Chris placed the flowers in front of their shared tombstone. There was an empty plot next to them, and Chris knew who it was reserved for. _He’s grave will be as empty as their,_ he thought with tears streaming down his cheek.

Chris took a seat in front of the grave and waited. Sam couldn’t sit there forever, but then again neither could he. In fact, Sam could make it a lot longer than he could with his separation anxiety. Still, if Sam didn’t come, then there was nothing else he could do for her. She was beyond his help.

After a while, the silence made him nervous, so he started talking to the grave. It was strange at first, and felt more awkward than helpful, but then it actually started to feel a little good.

“I know I haven’t been here in a while. Actually, I haven’t been here since the funeral. Yeah, sorry about that, I’ve been busy. . . You know Beth, Ashley and I finally got together. You and J-. . . you know, used to tease me so much about it. Well, you were right, she loves me, and a good thing too. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Hannah, did you even know about my crush? Probably with your blabbermouth siblings, but still, I don’t think I’ve ever told you my self. Sorry, I guess I should have told you too. . .”

“Grease was on the TV the other day. It made me think of you two, and that, ah, little dance number you two used to do to Grease Lighting. I tried to show Ash it, but . . . well, you we right Hannah, I do have two left feet.” What he wouldn’t give to go back to those days when they were all so young and carefree. Back when crushes and prom were the only things they were worrying about. But those days were gone, and so were the twins. He thought of them everyday, and especially thought of the horrors they went through.

He heard footsteps behind him, but he didn’t stop talking. Not until he finished what he needed to say.

“Beth, I’m sorry. I so sorry we c-couldn’t save you” the tears were now a steady stream but he didn’t care. “Han, I-I… I hope you’re at peace. I hope you’re not suffering anymore.” There was a small sob behind him, and Chris turned to see Sam standing there, her face in her hands.

“It’s my fault,” she cried, “I should have stopped it! I should have tried harder.”

“Sam, no one could have stopped it. We didn’t know-“

“That doesn’t matter,” She said shaking her head, “I killed her twice. I burned her in that cabin.” She got down on her knees in front of the grave. “Hannah, I’m so sorry. I’m s-so-“ She broke down into nothing but tears and Chris pulled her into a hug. She never hugged him back but she graciously cried into his shoulder.

“I hate him!” She cried, “It’s all his fault! Why did he do this?”

“You don’t mean that,” Chris said.

“I want to!” Sam cried, “but he’s gone! I can’t hate him cause he’s dead! Why did he do that to us? Why did he have to die?” Chris couldn’t answer the question and he never would. They would never have peace, never have closure. Sure they would bury an empty coffin in his name, but it would never be over for them.

He knew why he did it, and yet he still felt the need to ask it.

He knew he ever intended for such horrible things to happy, and yet, they did, and Chris wanted to blame him for it as well.

It was the most painful thing in the world, loving and hating someone so much at the same time.

“Why couldn’t he just let me help him?” She was shaking violently, but Chris never let her go. He was crying just as hard as her for the friend he loved just as much. “Why did Josh have to die?”

They spent what felt like hours sitting on the plot of dirt. Their friend’s coffins were below their feet, and they were as empty as them. When they were finally able to put themselves together, they left.

Neither one of them felt better, but it was a start. _Tomorrow will be better,_ he told himself. His eyes gazed over the Sam’s as he pulled into her driveway. She pulled him into a hug, and then climbed out off the car. _For both of us._

She gave Chris as small wave as he pulled out of the driveway. She was still crying when he left, and there was a mountain worth of pain in her eyes, but at least there was something. At least she wasn’t numb anymore. Now Sam could at least try to heal, and Chris and Ashley would be there for her.

As he drove home, Chris drove the speed limit, repeating him mantra in his head the whole way home. _One day at a time,_ he told himself, _one day at a time._


End file.
